Seriously, God...a 40 minute flight but turbulence for half of it?
I am not afraid of flying, but this recent ride tested me.
Since my father passed away a few years ago, I have thought more about death than any other time in my life. Also in your mid-life the sense of one’s mortality begins to become a less abstract idea and something that you know will happen to all of us eventually.
Last week I was on a flight from St. Louis back to Columbus and though it was a short flight, it was turbulent. It isn’t that I’ve never experienced turbulence before, but I can see why people don’t like flying. Yes, driving a car is statistically more dangerous (so I’ve heard) and you can’t control what others are doing, but flying in a steel tub that bounces up and down and contorts through the air just doesn’t feel great anymore. Talking to a commercial pilot since that flight, he advised me storms have been tough through the Midwest that last few weeks.
“How dangerous is turbulence?” I asked.
“99% it will be nothing. It feels worse than it is. You could drop a 100 feet and we’d be fine.”
I’m not sure that exactly made me feel better, but I knew he was right. I just had to believe that again like I used to. Before my rational brain would just take over, but as I’m getting older I can feel other parts of myself—the less rational—appear and I am learning to adapt. But the most important thing I must remember is that I will adapt because that was God made us to do. Change is good.
For so long, I told myself and others that I am fine with change and even embrace it. What I didn’t realize is that when change draws closer to your foundations of life—your faith, loss of loved ones, other difficult situations—I never been tested like I am now. Change the wall color—I don’t care. But take away my safety nets (e.g., money, health, purpose), and I feel exposed as I bounce around a turbulent plane ride.
It feels worse than it is though. This past four months I’ve been without steady income (voluntary sabbatical), but I didn’t realize how turbulent I’d feel. I recently got a job offer, and I will talk more about that amazing story soon. Praise God. When the things that give us security are gone the Lord tests us. I’ve been tested and being tested. Testing is good. We see what we are made of. We are ready to take appropriate risks in life when before we may been playing it more safe than we realized. I was being tested on that flight—would I trust God with my life? Do I believe I have a purpose? Yes—>maybe—>God I need more faith.
He is going to give me faith even when I’m not strong enough to muster it up. It was never something I had to completely muster up on my own. I have always been a touch more Armenian in my theology, but I have always acknowledged the Calvinist views in the Bible. I just understand it as a complicated situation where both realities exist. As I get older though, I appreciate those verses about God’s providence, control, and purpose a whole lot more. They are monolithic and strong. Though I may feel my wrong choices can be detrimental, He is strong and controls the winds and storms for His glory. I don’t have to worry about turbulence because Jesus is in control.
Colossians 1:16-17
For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
How is God testing you right now? Will you respond with fear or faith?
Do you know even when you don’t respond in faith, He is with us…waiting?