Seriously, God...do I have to clean up someone's else mess when it isn't my fault?
"Father we declare that we love you." CalledOut Music, "Father We Declare"
Recently, I was helping paint a section of our church with several fellow church members, and I felt so energized to get the chance to serve together.
One of my fondest memories was going down to Mississippi and New Orleans with a bus load of church members to help rebuild a church flooded by Hurricane Katrina. Acts of service is a real “love language” for me and doing that with others gives me great joy. That common purpose, coordination, and sense of accomplishment is thrilling. During the trip we were such a well oiled machine, and we got so much cleaned up and restored because we were in sync and working our hardest for a common purpose.
Back in my church helping coordinate the painting, I took a role to clean up any dropped paint on the floor. Told to avoid splattering paint beyond the drop clothes and plastic, I wanted to make sure we kept that floor absolutely clean.
A few of us spent our time scraping paint off the vinyl floor, which presented some challenges with the grooves within the textured vinyl. With Clorox wipes, I used my thumb nail like a soft file and scraped off any off-white speckle on the ground I could find. My nail was completely raw after the 30th paint spot I scraped, but it felt good to make progress.
Until we weren’t.
Doubling back to the areas we cleaned to check if we missed anything, we found new paint in the shape of shoe tread in those previously cleaned areas.
Your drop cloths and plastic are only as good as you don’t step in paint on the cloths. I politely announced to the group, “Check your shoes for paint because someone is getting in on the floor.”
With a quick group pause, the paint tracking seemed to settle, so I went back to looking for white spots, successfully taking ground with each finished area. But it wasn’t long when I started noticing the paint tread again. This time I didn’t say anything, but I was annoyed. People, could we please watch where we walk? Paint on the midsoles of any shoes would be evidence of greater contamination, so this time I went hunting for the culprit. Little did they know I was judging anyone with paint on their shoes. Did they understand for every spot I clean it feels like five more appear—that was their fault. The prints seemed to be multiplying and no one around seemed to care. Why does no one care? Ready to take a long break because it seemed pointless to clean anymore, I asked myself why should I continue to clean up the messes up other people, if they aren’t willing to change?
Then it dawned on me: What if it was my shoes?
What If I was the one tracking the paint? With each step and area I clean, I could easily be leaving marks behind me that I couldn’t see. I was too embarrassed to even check my shoes, so I took them off, got on my knees, and began scrubbing a new area, humbled by the reality that it might not be anyone else that had the problem. It could be me.
Someone else isn’t the issue, someone else doesn’t need to change, someone else isn’t messing up the system. Even as I targeted someone else to lay blame, it could be me leaving a mess behind. It was all the classic check-the-plank-in-your-eye-first kind of thing. I was embarrased.
When I have been critical of others, especially in my church, what proportion of the paint marks have I brought into the dysfunction? In some ways, that day we were all likely guilty of bringing in unwanted paint on that floor. What seems like a great place to start is that we self-reflect in humility and stay willing to clean up our messes and the messes of others because that is what Christian brothers and sisters do for each other. It’s great to serve each other when things work out efficiently and the results are there. Working in Mississippi felt like that. But what happens when things don’t work as cleanly or smoothly? Am I willing to clean up the messes others make—no matter how many times they fail? Are others willing to clean up my paint tracks created in absolute ignorance? That’s what family does for each other—put up with each other’s irrational, stupid actions until we humble ourselves before God and change. And even if it takes a really long time—we wait.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Christ came to serve, not be served (Mark 10:45). When does it get too much to cover the messes of others? There is a limit for our sanity, but how far do we have to go?