Seriously, God...I have to deal with sarcastic thumbs up emojis?

Anger can appear in any situation, including playing against kids on Brawlstars

I am not sure if it is my age, generation, or me, but nothing gets me more riled up then sarcasm. My kids have me playing a game called Brawlstars and you play these mini battles with people all over the world. After each round you can give a thumbs up to someone as a kudos. Sometimes people will give out a thumbs up for a good round, but most times they give it when you have a real terrible round—a sarcastic use of a positive thumbs up. When I get one of those sarcastic thumbs up it makes me feel so enraged. I know I did a bad job and likely lost the round for us, but you don’t need to remind me.

I know it is likely some random teen on the other end of that thumbs up, and I am this middle aged man, but I am not the bigger person. That kid who belittled my terrible round may have had the round of his or her life and would have won except for my stinker performance, but he or she is getting my doubly sarcastic thumbs up. You may have actually done a good job, but I am not giving you a kudos of approval because I want you to think I think that you did a good job. Because my thumbs up came after yours, might I be disapproving your performance too? It is nonsense, I know. It probably isn’t the right thing to do, but it feels great to be petty. Did I physically assault anyone when I do this? No, but my heart can’t be right trying to out sarcastic a teenage kid.

It’s not a dirty little secret that it can feel good to sin, especially when you are angry and it doesn’t seem to have this immediate terrible effect on you or someone else. In the moment, it feels good to talk crap about someone or let out your frustration as verbal assault on your kids or friends. When you “release” you can get a sense of calm or a “weight off your shoulders.” Often the alternative is you hold in your annoyance and anger and it that seems to have worse effects on you than taking your frustration out on your family member, friend, or even your kids. As Christians, we know this isn’t healthy or honoring God, but it does feel good for a moment.

When we come across a simple, but a powerful verse like Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin,” how do we actually live this out? Feels like more often than not, I do sin in my anger and ask God to forgive me for missing his mark. Christ is gracious, but does this verse exist to simply be a reminder of God’s grace?

I want to believe our faith journey is not only a matter of retrospective confessions, but real heart and mind transformation. Children learn to act differently because their parents love and teach them, but does that kind of change stop when we are adults? Can’t teach an old dog new tricks is our excuse for saying I’m not going to change. Or everyone should just give me space when I’m not in a great mood—this would be a pragmatic approach. The last cop out would be none of us can fully be like Jesus since he was God as well as human, so how can we expect to ever really live out a verse like this.

For many of us, I think we need to ask ourselves why we are so angry? Elderly people often can get a label of being ornery and as my dad aged and was sick in his last few years of life, I could see him bothered by his physical condition and his patience waned. When the Lord took him, in some ways, it was good to remember him in his love and patience rather than a future cranky old, someday-retired pastor. I think that was God’s mercy for our memories. How you physically feel can definitely have an effect on your emotions and actions.

For others, including myself, you have the classic “chip-on-your-shoulder” that makes everything seem like it’s not to your liking or everything is taking too long in life so you aren’t satisfied. The idea of God’s will and timing are serious afterthoughts. Life is all about what we don’t have right now.

But thinking about Ephesians 4:26 does it ever matter why we are angry—we aren’t to sin when angry. We just supposed to react differently. Watch this video of this kid regulating his emotions—he has to be like some kind of genius saint.

@humankindBrb seeing if we can book a therapy session with this 4-year-old 🥲 #toddlersoftiktok #emotions #wisekid #goodnews

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When we are angry, I pray we will remember this 4-year old kid. He is how we should be. We often just don’t know how on our own. Psalm 139:23-24 says,

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

What’s offensive to God isn’t just feeling angry—what is offensive is believing things about yourself, others, and God that are not true or based on God’s Word that make you easily angered. Those beliefs are offensive. When a random teen points out I have poor Brawlstar skills, their sarcasm reminds me how much I believe that I need to be good at everything to have approval. When I am reminded that I’m not good at everything, I get angry. It’s all related. It all can be offensive to God. In these moments I need him to search me and know my heart for false beliefs that make me anger-prone, and he will lead me in the way everlasting.

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• Are you easily angered? What could be underneath that anger that is also offensive to God?

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