Seriously, God...why are the smallest things the hardest to change?"
"I'm trying to give you the best of me... Nothing else is working." Make sure "Automator"
For years in my work email app I had to ACCEPT a meeting invite for it to appear on my calendar. Before accepting, I’d check my calendar to see if I had conflicts and hit accept, though I was slightly annoyed that I had to do all these extra clicks. That’s my time I was wasting.
Some would create hacks by accepting all invites automatically, but the difficult thing with that is those people didn’t seem to check if they had conflicts, creating last second changes for all. That often annoyed me because then I’d have to look for a new time after days had gone by. Another waste of time.
A few years ago, when Microsoft came out with a feature (it might have always been there, but we weren’t on their apps yet) where the invite would automatically display on my calendar without me doing anything, and it would show if I had conflicts in the body of the message. Finally, I didn’t have to click anything extra other than to delete the message. All was made right in my productivity timeline.
Recently, at the beginning of a video conference call where I was a minute or two late, a co-worker jokingly told me that I have a certain reputation. What was that I asked her when we settled in to start the discussion. No one is sure if I’m going to show up to a meeting or not until we start.
“What do you mean you aren’t sure?” I asked. “If I can’t come I’ll decline or propose a different time.”
“Right, that’s true. But you don’t accept the invites, so we aren’t sure.”
“It’s on my calendar, so I’m going to be there. Have I ever not been there?”
“We just don’t know your intention,” she said with a smile.
After the call and thinking about her comment, I went through a few meetings that I set up and checked if others had accepted the invites or had a “none” answer. It was a mix, but most had accepted. Was I really the only person who was doing what I was doing?
Me not accepting invites to save some clicks…this all related to the idea that I don’t want to waste my time. This shows up in other places in my life too.
My wife and I often disagree about whether it is ok to be “late” to something. I grew up in a household where we weren’t always late, but we weren’t early for sure. Cutting it close was the norm. My parents had their reasons because they were always busy doing something beforehand, often with someone else (e.g. on a phone call). My dad would take a call from anyone, at any time, even if it would make us a little late. In his mind, dealing with someone’s immediate issue was always more important than the next thing.
My wife has no issue with that, but I’m not always doing that. Rather, I am doing something or starting something right before we have to go (e.g., cut the lawn), and she wonders why I do it now. I cut the lawn because I’m optimistic I can fit it in. You wouldn’t be surprised that I oft-cite this research to her: Harvard study says those who are always late live longer
This Harvard study said that those who are chronically a little late tend to be more optimistic, so they live longer and are happier. So my take is she should relax more and we will be early to what we should be, but for other things we can gamble a little bit if it saves us time later. Be optimistic.
What about the other people waiting, she advises?
They will be fine.
Of course I don’t want people waiting around for me, but they are adults who can figure out how get started. This is how I think.
But do they know my intention? More specifically the question that I’m considering is not do they know my intention on being somewhere, but the question I think God is making me consider is do people know I care? Am I signaling to others that I care? Is hitting an “Accept” button really about me showing I care?
In my mind, leaving something on my calendar at all means I care. Showing up means I care. Participating full-heartedly means I care. Privately, stressing over the outcomes and relationships that I am associated with at work, church, or family means I care. So do I really need to accept an invite to signal to others that I care? Do I always need to be early to signal that I care? It seems superficial to me to show up early, but not do anything else that shows you care.
But here is sage advise I heard from a sister-in-Christ: If you are going to be late, just give them the heads up. Right, that makes sense and is very reasonable. More importantly, is that message worth the extra moment to show someone you care? Are the two extra clicks of accepting a calendar invite worth it to show you care?
Honestly, left to my base self–the answer is no.
Even with a verse like this– Philippians 2:2-4
2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
I read this and, thinking to myself, I believe I already sacrifice for others and consider a lot of how I can help others. But at the same time, left to myself, I don’t want to hit a few extra mouse clicks or send a text to give them the heads up that I’m running late because it’s a waste of time.
Jesus can die on a cross for others, but can I click two extra buttons? What kind of hypocrite does that make me?
It seems we have to practice what we preach, but it doesn’t even need to be that big of a step. A few more clicks or messages a day doesn’t need to feel that monumental—even though it actually does—but it shows how much more self-reflection and Christ we need. I thank God for his grace for me who would rather automate and streamline my life than take a few moments to consider others.
We know sometimes its the smallest things that are the hardest to change. What’s a small thing you can do to count others more significant than yourself?
As a chronically optimistic/late person, I'm glad I'll be late to dying too hahaha. But in all seriousness, I'm trying to be more on time to things too.